Becoming who God intended me to be


If we could only see the people he is calling us to become, we would wonder if it were even possible to change that much.

Paul Richardson, A Certain Risk, p. 177

When I was younger (a young boy up into my early adulthood) I was terrified of speaking or singing in front of people.  I could tell multiple stories of Christmas programs, school speeches, solos and other occasions where my knees shook and my voice quivered to the point where I could not finish a line or a song.  One particular time I remember I was in college and back home for Christmas.  I was asked to sing a special on Sunday and my mouth got so dry that I simply couldn’t make any sound—nothing!

I still remember the first time, at the age of 25, when I was asked to sing at a very large Christmas gathering in the Asian nation where I was teaching at the time.  The church had rented out an auditorium and the crowd was huge.  As my time approached I was very nervous, shaking, having difficulty breathing (which makes me wonder why did I keep saying “yes” when people asked me to sing).  Anyway, I remember with clarity a still small voice speaking to me through those nerves, saying, “Steve, you been given a gift in your voice.  Be confident.  Sing boldly.  Never be proud, but sing with great thankfulness.”  I went up on that huge stage and had the best time I’ve ever had on stage.

A few years later my beautiful fiance asked me to sing at our wedding.  A couple of months later a pastors wife who had been at our wedding called and asked if I might be interested in being their worship/music pastor.  I accepted.  I remember thinking several weeks later, as I was enjoying greatly the opportunity to sing regularly and lead the people of this church in worship through music, that a few years earlier I NEVER would have been able to do what I was doing.  It was nothing short of a miracle that I was (1) I was in front of people singing, and (2) actually enjoying it!

What will I look back on several years from now and think, “Wow, I never would have pictured myself doing _____________ back then?”

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